Apparently I scared my mom. It frustrates me a little. I had my friend post on my wall where I was at, that I had no internet access, and my phone number if anyone were wanting to call. I think the frustrating thing to me is how quickly it seemed to escalate. O how quickly people allow worry and irrational thought to overtake the situation (I am not excluding myself from this, I do this far too often).
I have only been in communication with my driver and the houseboat rental guy regarding how carless and selfish I have been in neglecting to tell everyone where I was at. The conversation with the Dan (houeboat guy), pissed the hell out of me. I find it interesting how judgements and accusations can subtly weave themselves into seemingly non-threatening sentences with just simple emphasis on words and tone. I guess that’s what being passive aggressive is all about. Dan has been very passive aggressive. I don’t like him. I wanted to like him, but I can’t. Self-styled superiority, I don’t understand arrogance. I don’t understand the personality which thinks they sit above reproach able to cast accurate judgments on everyone else. Some people ooze this out of each nuance of speech and action. Dan is one of them.
I have this knee jerk reaction with certain asshole personalities. Personalities such as Dan. For some reason I heed their unspoken criticism. I feel I must explain and apologize for some phantom situation conjured in their minds. I owe Dan no good bye or explanation. He was just the person I subleased an apartment from online. I saw him for only a handful of minutes where it was forced upon me his bigoted and misogynistic opinions and view of life and Russian women tourists in Egypt. In those handful of minutes he had already mentioned his inner conversation with himself about me being a ‘needy one’ needing him to babysit my vacation. I think that was his problem-I wasn’t needy. I didn’t need him and didn’t ask him which restaurant that was again I was supposed to visit. I could see clear frustration in him that I had found friends outside of him. I know he’s offended that I left his place earlier than I needed to, I have paid until the twenty-third. I find it bizarre how the supposed flat character, or extra in a story tries to take a leading role.
I was and am very concerned about people who love me not know where I am or if I am safe. I have a close friend who through consistent imessages has been aware of where I am and how I am doing on a daily basis. My last message was mentioning how sick I was feeling. I am only hoping he decides to read my facebook wall to see that I am ok. I knew mom would worry. I had only wished she would have considered the time difference and decide to wait until the morning in my world before she began to panic. She knew I was going to the Red Sea this day.
Anyways, I am at the Red Sea. I found out that I had in fact traveled a very dangerous (but breathtaking) road with my Beduin driver. As a foreigner, traveling through Sinai is not an option without a convoy protecting you. The Beduins like to kidnap for ransom predominately foreigners, therefore security checks do not permit foreigners through their space. Think Mexican drug cartels. My airplane seat-friend, he has connections. He set me up with his Beduin personal driver which he uses for these trips, his reasoning was that no Beduin would mess with another Beduin, it was against unspoken arabic law of brotherhood. A person I met here was flabbergasted I made it through. I didn’t know how to feel when I realized my driver would normally have been my enemy.
The people are truly amazing here. I hope I get a chance to document all my experiences. I have never met with such kindness and generosity and openness to share their life. I am always questioning what they must want. This kindness is rare among immediate family members, let alone from complete strangers.
It’s not too late, but I am tired. I basically have dysentry. My stomach feels like there’s a hand inside my guts twisting and pulling them randomly. It’s very painful. I ate rice today. That’s about all I”ve eaten for the last few days.
I go scuba diving tomorrow morning. I think I will try to rest some more.
I am at the Red Sea. I swam in the Red Sea. and it is beauty like I’ve never seen.
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